Second Time Love Page 2

“Grace, don’t explain. You’ll get there when you’re ready. I just hope you don’t lose yourself in the process. I can’t bear the thought of losing you, too.”

  Grace could only nod again, having no words to adequately explain her emotions. Or lack of.

  “Will you come to lunch with me? I’d really like to get you out of the house and into the fresh air. Get you moving, you know?” Laurell flashed a grin.

  “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

  “Good. Okay, let’s grab your purse and we’ll go. Speckles will be fine, right?”

  “Yes, she’s a good girl. She can have run of the house while we’re out.”

  Grace grabbed her purse and followed Laurell out the front door, locking it behind her. They settled into Laurell’s car and wound their way out of the neighborhood. Her friend made small talk, as if Grace needed a slow and careful reintroduction into being social. She asked about whether she’d talked to anyone else from school, to which Grace replied no. She asked if everything was okay with the house, if anything needed maintenance, to which Grace replied no—again.

  “Didn’t you say your trip to Fiji was already booked?”

  “Yes,” Grace replied absently while staring out the window, not really focusing on anything. Cars and buildings flashed by, but she wasn’t paying attention to where they were going or what she was seeing.

  “Do you…” When Laurell hesitated, Grace stared at her, silently questioning what she wanted to ask. “Do you think you’ll still go? I mean, you should,” Laurell hurried on. “I truly think time away will be good for you.”

  “That trip was booked for me and Michael. Who am I going to take? I’m certainly not going alone. There’s no way I could go.”

  “And why not? I mean, it’s paid for, and it’s a dream destination of yours. Why not go? Get away, lose yourself for a while. Maybe this is exactly what you need to rejuvenate yourself.”

  Grace turned away, unable to imagine taking a trip she and her husband had planned together, without him. “I don’t know,” she replied weakly.

  “Just think about it, hun. You’ve got time if you decide not to go. I’m sure the agency will understand your reasons for canceling.”

  Grace sucked in a breath and Laurell tried to apologize for bringing up a sensitive subject.

  “It’s fine, Laurell, really. I guess I have to talk about it at some point.”

  “You do, and I want to help when you’re ready.”

  Grace looked over at her friend and gave her a genuine smile. “Thank you.” She glanced at the street they were turning on and asked where they were going for lunch.

  “I thought we’d try this place I heard about. Oly Underground. They’ve got your usual burgers and sandwiches and salads, plus more. We could even indulge in an adult beverage. Seeing as we’re adults.”

  Grace managed to smile at Laurell who winked at her. Her mood actually began to brighten as she took in the sunny day. She watched as they passed Sylvester Park, people out walking on their lunch hour, catching every last bit of nice weather that they could.

  After finding a place to park, a short walk had them in the air-conditioned restaurant, being seated by a sweet gal named Tina.

  “Can I get you ladies anything to drink besides water?”

  “We’ll have two Whisky Sours and the stuffed mushrooms.”

  Before Grace had a chance to protest, Tina spoke. “Excellent, I’ll get that started for you.” She turned and walked away, and Grace was left staring at Laurell, who flashed her most innocent smile.

  “What? Someone’s got to take charge around here.”

  Grace just went with the flow, happy to relinquish any and all decisions.

  “Now, back to Fiji. Or should I say, here’s to Fiji.” Laurell lifted her water glass and knocked it against Grace’s. “We’ll make a proper toast when our drinks arrive.”

  “Is that your way of asking if you can join me?”

  “Absolutely not!” Laurell exclaimed. “I think you should go, just you, and thoroughly enjoy. There’s nothing holding you back from living your life. And I’m just gonna get this out before I lose my courage or you slap a hand across my mouth.” Laurell scooted closer, wrapping her hands around Grace’s. “While I can’t possibly know what losing a spouse is like, or even begin to know the depth of your hurt, you’re still here. You’re still breathing. And you’re meant to go on living. Somehow, someway, your pain will ease and you’ll find joy in life again.”

  Grace began to shake her head, ready to deny her friend’s words, but Tina returned with their drinks. “Your stuffed mushrooms will be along shortly.”

  “Thank you,” Laurell offered before she walked away. “Now,” she started, “before you start to deny what I just said, give it some thought, Grace, please. Don’t be so quick to discount a life worth living.” Laurell released her hands and grabbed her drink, raising it, and eyeballing Grace to do the same. When she did, Laurell toasted. “To you.”

  They knocked glasses together and took a drink. When the appetizers came, they made short work of them, then ordered burgers, more drinks, and deep-fried cheesecake bites.

  Two hours later, the ladies were thoroughly stuffed and laughing like loons.

  “I think we’re going to need a cab,” Laurell slurred, but only slightly. “I don’t trust myself, and I certainly don’t trust you.” She blew a kiss to Grace, who in turn blew one back. “I’ll ask Tina to call, since I can’t seem to find my phone.”

  As Laurell spoke with Tina, who said she’d be happy to assist, Grace’s thoughts contemplated Fiji. In her inebriated state, she said to herself, why the hell not!

  Only it came out of her mouth, a little louder than intended.

  “What’s that, Grace?”

  “I said why the hell not. I’m going to Fiji.”

  “Hot damn! Good for you! Let’s celebrate.”

  “Ladies, your taxi is here,” Tina interrupted.

  “Perfect!” Laurell said, forgetting all about the celebration. Which, they really did just have.

  As they climbed into the taxi, giving them Grace’s address, both women huddled together and giggled, earning curious glances from the driver. But they didn’t care. Grace felt lighter than she had in a month, and it was thanks to the persistence of her friend.

  Within moments they were back at Grace’s house, being greeted by an excited Speckles.

  “I’m just going to rest a moment before I head on home,” Laurell all but whispered. She curled up on the couch and immediately went to sleep.

  Grace covered her with a blanket and smiled down at her before going to her own bed and falling into the first restful slumber she’d had in a month.

  Chapter Three

  Grace had returned to teaching at the beginning of October, with the days passing quickly. She immersed herself in working with her students as well as resuming her love of pottery, setting up her work space in the garage. Eventually she had cleaned out Michael’s clothes and many of his personal effects. She kept a few boxes of items she knew she’d never part with, storing them in the spare bedroom that had been turned into an office.

  Grace also made the hard decision to take off her wedding band and place it in her jewelry box alongside Michael’s. She started wearing her diamond on her right hand.

  Did she do so in order not to deter attention from other men? Heavens, no. It seemed to make it easier to relieve the sorrow. By wearing the diamond he had given her, it still reminded her of their love.

  As Christmas break drew nearer, she was actually getting excited about her trip, trying to imagine all the wondrous things she’d do and see. She altered her plans so she’d spend more time in New Zealand, taking in the many sights and activities that were available. And while the thought of doing so without her husband still pinched her heart, she knew she had to keep on living her life.

  Laurell would be kind enough to take care of Speckles while Grace was gone, as well as check on the house from time to time.
When the day arrived that Grace was departing, her friend took her to the airport and saw her off.

  “Have a marvelous time, Grace! And no social media. Just distance yourself from all that and take advantage of the adventure.”

  “I promise I will. I’m really looking forward to this trip. And thank you so much for shopping with me. I don’t think I would have been brave enough to buy what I did without you.”

  Grieving had taken its toll, with Grace losing over forty pounds. And while she and Michael had always been active, she still thought she was a bit on the larger size. Now, with more definition to her body, she was down from a size twelve to an eight—a six, depending on the garment—and felt the best she’d ever felt in her life. At times she still battled with her flip-flopping feelings of happiness and guilt, but Laurell had admonished her for that, telling her again that she had to go on living. That Michael would want her to be happy.

  Yeah, yeah, she never thought she’d be the one hearing that cliché, but it was true. She wasn’t one to give up, and after professional counseling, and pep talks from Laurell, she was back to living her life.

  Alone.

  It was an adjustment, yet it unnerved her how quickly she got used to it. What did that say about her marriage to Michael? About the life they had built? Were all those years so easily put behind her, tucked away in memories, eventually to be forgotten?

  Lord, she hoped not, but it was true that she had to go on.

  Guilt came and went. And here she was about to embark on a journey she and Michael had planned together. One they should’ve been taking together.

  Laurell must have seen the hesitation in her eyes as she looked Grace in the eyes and said, “No regrets. You will take this vacation and you will have a wonderful time. It’s about you now.”

  Grace only nodded as she gave her friend a quick hug before she turned to head through the security check. With a final glance back, she waved to Laurell and walked down to her gate to await boarding.

  Time and again, Grace had heard from both Laurell and her counselor that guilt would come. The feeling of happiness for continuing on would feel as if it were a betrayal to the departed spouse. It was part of the process of coping with a loved one being gone.

  But life did go on, and Grace intended to make the most of it. She had to. Didn’t she?

  She’d never deny the love she and Michael shared. Those feelings and memories would always stay with her. Now it was time for new memories. Her own.

  Did Grace fear being alone? She didn’t think so. Did she think she’d ever have a relationship with another man? She didn’t think so on that point either. After thirty years of loving the same man, of getting used to her partner and their routine, how could she ever consider being intimate with anyone else? She couldn’t.

  At least that was what she kept telling herself.

  Chapter Four

  The journey to Fiji had been exhausting. Half way through the flight, Grace felt like a see-saw, once again questioning her decision to take the trip. After she finally arrived, she felt as if she could sleep for a day.

  She’d been escorted to her bure—the little private hut at the resort—and once her luggage had been deposited and the attendant departed, she collapsed on the bed and drifted away.

  Soft caresses from a fragrant breeze brought Grace awake, and the gentle lapping of the ocean’s water beckoned. She rose from the bed, taking a moment to orient herself, and saw several hours had passed. Walking out the sliding glass door, she meandered through the grove of trees toward the beach. She kicked off her shoes and sunk her fuchsia-painted toes in the still-warm sand, lifting her face to the late-afternoon sun. It felt glorious, much better than the cool, rainy days that had persisted back home.

  The all-inclusive resort where she was staying had bures scattered about and nestled amongst groves, allowing a certain level of privacy. Although numerous resorts and accommodations dotted the Fijian islands, she still felt like the only woman left on earth. And that was what she wanted for now.

  Feeling thankful for the push to come on this trip alone despite her wishy-washy thoughts, her mind grew more peaceful. Grace began to realize that while she would always have Michael’s memories and the love they shared, she’d be able to continue on with her life. His memories now brought sweetness instead of misery and sadness.

  A welcomed breakthrough.

  Grace spent three days close to her private oasis being completely lazy. She had enjoyed time in the sun and water, as well as relaxing in a hammock, reading one of the many books downloaded on her Kindle. The particular romance she was currently reading certainly had her wondering what it’d be like to share this paradise with a companion, a companion of the warm, male variety.

  And to her initial horror and surprise, it wasn’t Michael’s face she pictured in her fantasy.

  “Well, I’m not that ready to move on,” she admonished herself.

  Suddenly feeling restless, she decided to take a walk along the beach and clear her head. After spending these days not doing much, she was ready for some movement. Dressed in one of her new bathing suits, she slipped her sheer cover on, not that it provided much more than making her feel better in her mind. She chuckled at herself before setting her reader aside, and set out.

  The calmness of the beach was like a balm on her soul, the beautifully clear ocean water hypnotic and inviting. She walked its edge, allowing the small surf to roll over her feet and ankles, and earning her a glimpse of shells and starfish along the way. When she had walked so far as to round the small peninsula and catch sight of another resort, she decided to turn around and make her way back.

  The sound of laughter had her turning again. She saw a little girl in a pink bathing suit running her way, long, blonde hair billowing behind her. As well as a shirtless man who was giving chase. Grace watched as the man would get close enough to playfully swipe the girl’s behind, then feign fatigue before catching up to her again. Her antics of darting left and right, and the giggling brought a smile to Grace’s face. Before she realized she had remained rooted to her spot, watching the delightful scene, the little girl was suddenly in front of Grace, running around her like they were old friends.

  She smiled down upon the girl who decided to clutch Grace’s legs and hide behind her.

  “Don’t let him find me,” she whispered before giggling.

  When Grace looked up, a strikingly handsome man stood before her. He wore only swim trunks that showed off his tanned and muscular body. His gaze was uncertain as it roamed her face, almost as if he’d been stunned. He opened his mouth, hesitated, and then finally spoke. “You, uh, you wouldn’t happen to have seen a little girl running around here? She’s about this high,” he continued, holding his hand close to his waist, “with long, blonde hair.”

  Grace’s gaze was drawn to his defined abs and those delicious dips running toward his hips that his low-slung shorts revealed. She suddenly blushed when she realized where her concentration had been. As she peered back to his face, his eyes held such intrigue that something compelled her to play along.

  “I’m sorry, but no little girls around here. Just me.” She smiled. And was rewarded with a knee-weakening smile in return. The man before her seemed about her age, with short, black hair that was graying at the temples and deep-blue eyes that held both maturity and mischief. Mostly black hair dusted his chest and limbs with perfection. He was absolutely swoon-worthy.

  “Well, that’s a shame.” A playful pout formed on his lips. Full lips that would no doubt make a woman sigh when they landed on hers. “Because I promised that little girl a piggy-back ride to the lodge for ice cream. I guess if she’s not here I’ll have to eat ice cream all by myself.”

  As he began to turn away, the little girl squealed, deciding ice cream was a far better option than playing hide-and-seek. She ran around Grace and squealed, “Grandpa! I’m right here!”

  Grandpa?

  “Oh my goodness, there you are!”

>   Grace couldn’t help but chuckle at the fun these two were having. The little girl flew at the man who scooped her up in his arms, swinging her onto his shoulders with ease. As they continued to laugh, the man’s gaze landed on Grace again.

  “I’m sorry. We seemed to have corralled you into our little game. I hope we aren’t keeping you from anything?”

  “Oh no, I was just out for a walk by myself. You’re a pretty good runner there, missy,” Grace said to the little girl.

  “I beat Grandpa every time!” She beamed, causing Grace to laugh.

  “I’m Cole,” the man said. “And this little speed demon is my granddaughter, Eliza.”

  “Nice to meet you both. I’m Grace.”

  “That’s a pretty name,” Eliza said. “Would you like to have ice cream with us?” She wiggled atop the shoulders of her grandpa as she mussed his hair. “I’m going to get vanilla with chocolate sprinkles. What’s your favorite?”

  Before Grace could answer, Cole spoke. “Eliza can get pretty excited about ice cream. We’ll, uh, we’ll let you continue with your walk. Sorry to have bothered you.”

  When he started to take a step back and turn, Grace spoke out. “It was no bother, really.” She looked from Cole to Eliza. “And I like Neapolitan.” Why she felt the need to continue to engage, she had no idea, but she didn’t want to be finished with the delightful little girl and her stunning grandpa.

  “Neapololitan,” Eliza tried to say.

  “Close,” Cole said. “It’s the vanilla-strawberry-chocolate together, remember?”

  “Yes! Like what we had for your birthday, Grandpa!”

  Cole chuckled. “That’s right.” He looked at Grace. “It’s my favorite, too.”

  Grace couldn’t help another blush that overtook her. Surely this man had a beautiful wife waiting back at the lodge, wondering where he and Eliza were. She decided she had better say her good-byes and let them get to their ice cream.

  “Well,” she started to say, dipping her head before looking back at the two. “I’ll let you get to your ice cream, then. Enjoy.” As she started to turn, Cole rushed to speak again.